


you're my biorhythm

by jeoncenaa (orphan_account)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, I'm sorry this is a mess, Light Angst, M/M, badly written fluff, cameos here there everywhere, cameos of various kpop groups, i only write at 1am because, i think you can guess where the title came from lmao, it gets better i hope, sleeping woozi is the cutest thing u will ever find, unfair employers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-13 23:52:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9147505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jeoncenaa
Summary: In which Soonyoung meets the guy who fell asleep on him on the subway and managed to insult him accidentally all while hiding his half-bald head.or:the embarrassing story which no one asked for about the entire seventeen ensemble being extra





	1. Chapter 1

Soonyoung ends his day as he usually does; taking the subway home. He’s disgustingly sweaty and smelly, not to mention tired as hell because a kid at his part time job projectile vomited in the studio, causing his brother to puke as well, and it was left to him to clean up the messes as the poor kids got picked up by an overly-concerned, overbearing mother to go see the doctor. 

And after that, the principal of the dance academy showed up unexpectedly at the studio. How rude, to show up unannounced and acting like you know the students when in reality you actually just sit your lazy ass down back and rake in all the profits while your assistant director drowns under all the documents- before a loud cough alerted him to the fact that he was saying this out loud. 

It was safe to say he wouldn’t be getting a pay raise anytime soon and goddamnit, because he already owed the university a month’s worth of tuition!

And as if things couldn’t become even worse, when all the kids had left and he picked up his very cool (Seokmin says it was an ugly puke-green monstrosity, but he was just being jealous, right?) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles authentic backpack, complete with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles keychain and flashlight, the instructor came up to him and told him, with a half-pitying half-you kinda deserved this expression, told him that his pay would be decked by half because “the academy was short of funds”. 

He wanted to call bullshit; the academy was fucking loaded with the cash they embezzled from the rich-ass parents by charging them 2 million won per month, but then he caught a glimpse of His Holy Highness the principal himself, standing just outside the studio with a very smug grin, and shut his mouth sharply, cursing when he bit down on his own tongue.

So in conclusion, he had a Very Bad day and he just wanted to go home, collapse in the shower with hot water relaxing his muscles, and just sit in the tub, thinking what he could have possibly done wrong in his past life to deserve such a terrible, authoritarian superior who has the power to fire him and leave him with just enough money to buy himself a single candy from the convenience store.

-

The moment he enters the station, he’s jostled to the left by a grandma in obscene tie-dyed hippie clothes, then promptly shoved forward by an office worker who has the thin end of his tie longer than the thick end of the tie, and it bothers Soonyoung more than he would like to admit. 

But before he could say anything, another teenager (who was as tall as he was when he was twelve) makes a gagging sound behind him, and promptly spits out a piece of chewing gum—which landed right in his hair. He shrieked (in a manly way, of course), and spun around to face the teen. “Move forward man, you’re holding up the crowd,” the teen grumbled. 

“Y-you just spit your gum into my hair!” Soonyoung spluttered incoherently, yanking at the strands but at the same time trying to avoid touching the gross piece of gum in his hair. His pinky touches the gum and he convinces himself that he can’t feel saliva dripping off the gum and onto his shirt.

“I did? Oh man, it’s an improvement to that fusion of green and blonde. You trying to look like a broccoli with cheese on it?” The teenager laughed, obviously thinking himself cool, and Soonyoung just about loses it when another voice in the crowd tells him to move his ass and his ugly backpack out of the way.

“MY BACKPACK IS NOT UGLY!” Soonyoung screamed, and just about everyone within a 5 metres radius swiveled around to look at him.

“Hey, isn’t that Soonyoung from our Literature class?”

Soonyoung wants to die.

-

He gets on the subway with aching feet and wounded pride. There was now a piece of neon yellow gum in his hair—honestly, who even chews neon yellow gum anymore? Please let me find a seat, I don’t think I can handle this anymore, he prayed. 

Soonyoung wasn’t even religious, hell he sinned on a daily basis, but he was willing to shave off all his hair and become a monk if he could find a seat.

His prayer was answered. Right in front of him, was a seat. 

His stop was about 9 stops away, far enough for him to want to fall asleep, but close enough for him to miss his stop if he falls asleep.  
So he takes out his phone, trying to ignore the very obvious lump of gum stuck in his hair and trying not to think how he’s gonna get rid of it—would he have to cut his hair off? Or would he have to go for surgery? 

He opens the Temple Run app, and a wave of pride washes through him as he regards his high score proudly. He hasn’t seen anyone able to survive as long as him, running for 45 minutes consecutively without being eaten by those damn monkeys (were they monkeys? Were they chimpanzees? Or were they extraterrestrial beings created for the sole purpose of Temple Run? Who knew.) or falling off a platform into the clouds. He didn’t know, or particularly care.

He clicked the start button, and started running, making soft 'whoosh' noises as he jumped from one platform to another. Just then, the person on his left let out a soft “yes!” as his counter hit an unbelievably high score, and Soonyoung’s eyes widened. That dude's score was a million points higher than his! Temple Run had been his only pride, but now that too was taken away. He glanced back at his phone, only to find that he had fallen off a cliff.

He decided to uninstall the app and never play with it again because his only pride and joy had been ruined, but the moment he clicked the “confirm uninstall app” button, he panicked and tried to backtrack, but it was gone. And there was no wifi to reinstall it.

God, his life sucked. And he could only blame himself for it.

Fifteen minutes later, a slightly raspy breathing sound came from his left as Soonyoung continued glaring sullenly down at the floor. And another. And another. Soon enough, the raspy breathing turned into light snores, and he turned to see that the person on his left (who had caused him to delete his precious Temple Run app) had fallen asleep.

Looking at him, Soonyoung wanted to laugh at the thought of this person being able to beat his score. He looked so small. Shorter than the teenager who had spit gum into his hair. And his ridiculous strawberry-pink hair made him feel infinitely better about his “broccoli and cheese” hair.

Letting out another snore, the gnome-sized boy (he couldn’t have been more than eight) leaned dangerously close to Soonyoung that he could hear the music blasting from his headphones. Verbal Jint, the gnome was listening to Verbal Jint. 

Seokmin always listened to his songs, but it was too…rappy for Soonyoung. He preferred the kind of songs which talked about beautiful love, because he could never get his own love and listening to other’s failed love stories comforted him in more ways than he would be willing to admit.

The gnome snored again, and his head landed on Soonyoung’s shoulder. Soonyoung jolted and tried to shove him away lightly, but he carried on snoring. He looked up for help, but the woman across him only gave him an amused look and continued watching whatever kdrama she was watching on her phone.

His body leaned into Soonyoung’s, and he tried leaning away from the gnome, but only to bump into the weird goth boy with earrings so big he wondered how her ear didn’t tear off entirely, who in turn glared stonily at him and Soonyoung quickly straightened up for fear that his shirt could get caught on her earrings and rip it off (obviously not because he was scared of her glare…?). 

The strawberry gnome continued snoring, oblivious to Soonyoung’s internal struggle. The song playing from his headphones changed to some heavy metal song, with so many curse words that he didn’t even know existed.  
He tried nudging the gnome’s head with his shoulder, but he only grunted and continued leaning on Soonyoung. For someone so small, the gnome sure weighed a lot. 

He gave up and sighed. All he wanted was to get home, and now there was a stranger sleeping on him, and was that…drool hanging from his lips? Oh my god, Soonyoung sighed internally. This shirt was new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bless you for reading this jumbled mess. tbh i don't know if i should make this a two-shot or a full length story but i think i'm veering towards full-length story? i don't really know how bad this piece of text i wrote at 1am in the morning is, and i'm honestly too tired to proofread it. help this tired student zzZZzZZzz  
> criticism is always appreciated!


	2. i chogiwant to die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soonyoung chogiwants to die.

It was two stops before his station and the guy beside him still hadn’t woken up. By now, the song had changed to a more familiar one—Wolf by Exo. He tapped his foot according to the beat of the song, getting even more hyped when the chorus came. 

“Chogi wa, danbeone neukkyeo,” he hummed. Chogiwa, more like choke-iwa. (Chanyeol, you little kinky shit.)

A loud cough cut across Wolf, and damn just when Xiumin was about to sing his one of his only lines. He looked up to see a boy (whose face at least matched his height) staring pointedly at Soonyoung’s foot—which had been stepping on the boy’s foot. “Oh I’m sorry,” Soonyoung mumbled hastily.

He had thick glasses the size of his face, and his braces looked like they had been structured for a 6-year old who ate too much Nerds that his braces turned a ghastly purple. Not to mention his ears, which reminded Soonyoung too much of Yoda. He hated Yoda. 

“It’s alright!” He laughed, and a freaking dimple appears. Who the hell has dimples anymore? What the heck, why was this guy’s smile so bright, was he even human? “Well, I’m Sorry, I’m Chanyeol! Nice to meet you!” 'Chanyeol' laughed. 

What the fuck, Soonyoung thought. This was Chanyeol? Like Chanyeol from Exo, and the voice which was currently blasting from the gnome’s headphones?

He suddenly realised, that his bias, his longterm bias was right in front of him in a crowded subway and looking at him while he had freaking neon yellow bubble gum stuck in his hair and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack. He was ashamed of the fact that he suddenly felt an urge to burn the backpack. 

“I-I’m Soonyoung!” He stammered, still frozen in place by Chanyeol’s million-watt smile. 

Chanyeol gestured at the gnome (who was still sleeping on Soonyoung’s shoulder) and whispered, “your boyfriend?” He winked at him.

“Yes! I mean, no! He just kinda fell asleep and I don’t even know him and I don’t know how the heck this tiny strawberry gnome’s head can weigh so much when he’s so small and I tried to shove him off I swear, but he wouldn’t budge and I’m too nice to wake him up and I’m not gay I-I’m a fully qualified heterosexual and wait that sounded really homophobic I’m not-” Soonyoung slapped his hand over his mouth, flushing deep red. He really needed to learn to shut up sometimes. 

“That’s alright, he’s pretty cute though.” Chanyeol laughed, and Soonyoung swore it was the prettiest sound he ever heard. 

Seeing his bias in real life made him so nervous and he sounded like an incompetent jerk when really he was smoother than Seokmin when Seokmin met Seungkwan and said “hey babe, if you were a booger I’d pick you,” and even that was pretty smooth in it’s own rights so-  
“You alright there, Soonyoung?” Chanyeol frowned worriedly at Soonyoung and Soonyoung almost collapsed at his name coming out of those lips. “I’m alright, thanks! You’re really pretty—I mean, nice!” Oh my god, when would he learn how to shut up?

Just then, he felt the body next to him shaking, and he stared at the gnome to find out that he had finally woken up and he was laughing at Soonyoung. “Real smooth there,” He deadpanned.

“You finally wake up after shoving your heavy-ass head on my shoulder and drooling all over my new shirt and the first thing you do is to laugh at me?” Soonyoung demanded, embarrassed after humiliating himself in front of your bias. “And what even, you listen to heavy metal? What are you, emo?”

“Hey,” The goth boy (Soonyoung had completely forgotten about her) muttered next to him. 

“Sorry! I-I wasn’t shaming emo people I just-”

“Soonyoung, nice meeting you! Call me sometime okay? Here’s my number!” He had also forgotten completely about Chanyeol standing in front of him with an awkward smile, offering a slip of paper with his number and the words CHOGIWARRIOR on it in bold and italics. “Oh, sorry, ignore the Chogiwarrior thing, Kyungsoo influences me too much.”

Kyungsoo…? As in, Do Kyungsoo?

With that, Chanyeol walked out of the subway, leaving Soonyoung staring after him with literal hearts in his eyes.

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung cried, holding the slip of paper in his hands, kissing it repeatedly. “Park Chanyeol gave me his number, I’m going to sob, Park fucking Chanyeol gave me his number with the words Chogiwarrior on it, I want to fuck him so bad-”

“Thought you weren’t gay,” The gnome next to him remarked snarkily.

“I chogiwant to die,” Soonyoung sobbed, and leaned back on his seat, banging his head on the glass window in the process. “Fuck, ow!” He yelled pathetically, dropping the slip of paper which promptly got crushed under the feet of the commuters. “No!” He whispered, standing up and trying to locate the paper with his eyes without looking like a maniac.

He followed the piece of paper as it shifted on the floor under the feet of merciless commuters, scrabbling wildly in his desperation to get Park Chanyeol’s number back. Before the paper could get crushed by a giant in work attire, he lunged forward and caught it by the edges with the tips of his fingers.

“Sell it for a billion won and get a better backpack!” The gnome yelled after him, and Soonyoung swore in that moment that if he ever saw him again he would pour bleach on the gnome’s hair.

“Gangnam-gu,” The train conductor announced over the radio, and he looked up in a panic. It was his stop, and the doors were already closing. He thrust himself forward hysterically, landing on his knees just outside the train in the station, with his bag dangling from one hand and the piece of paper he had just sold his damn soul from in the other hand.

-

He shuffled out of the station, hair messed up with the piece of bubblegum still stuck in his hair and bag still dangling from one hand, but he had Park Chanyeol’s number and that was all that mattered.

“Soonyoung? Yo Soonyoung, hurry up I need to finish my essay!” Wen Junhui pulled up with his sunglasses raised up his forehead. Everyone turned to look at him in his rusted and faded “hot maroon” (it was more like baby pink, actually, but Junhui was just colour blind) Ford Angelica which had been passed down from his grandfather to his father and had one headlight smashed in.

Soonyoung cringed internally, getting into the car, slamming the door behind him. “Don't sit on Martin and Martina, I just bought them for the house!” Junhui yelled. Martin and Martina...? Oh right, the two potted cacti which Junhui bought to "spice up the dorms" and bring a "breath of fresh air into your nasty life". Of course he would name his plants Martin and Martina. Soonyoung bet that in a week, those plants would probably get crushed 'cos Junhui sat on them. 

Minghao turned around from his seat in the front and gave him a look which said something like ‘I’m so sorry for this annoying brat of a roommate you have and if we could have switched roommates I would’ve switched with you to sleep in his room but I just didn’t because his snoring is too loud for me’ but it actually said ‘lmao you deserve this for letting me copy your algebra homework when you knew the teacher grading it was the ultra-hot Prof Lee’.

Soonyoung groaned, raked a hand through his hair, forgetting that the gum was still stuck in his hair and ended up stretching it to cover even more of his hair. “Just drive, please. And Minghao, can you help me do something about this gum in my hair?”

“Oh that’s terrible, I would help you but that’s quite disgusting. Just cut it off, you’d look better with a chunk of hair missing than your current broccoli-with-cheese hair.” Minghao said with fake sympathy.

“Hey, that’s what the teenager said to him too!” Soonyoung exclaimed in surprise. “You were the one to tell me to dye my hair!”

“Yeah, that’s cause your previous ponytail was a stub of blonde disaster!” Minghao refuted. 

Junhui waved at some girls cooing at him on the streets. Honestly, he thought whoever could find Junhui attractive probably needed an eye checkup because who the hell finds a guy riding a bashed up Ford Angelica attractive?

“Keep your bloody hands on the wheel, Wen Junhui, I really don’t want to die.”

“You wanna hear something sad?” Junhui asked, completely disregarding Soonyoung.

“Soonyoung’s hair!” Minghao screamed from the seat beside Junhui gleefully. 

“I said sad, not tragic.” Junhui snarked and they both burst into laughter, the car swerving dangerously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! i've read over this chapter and tbh what i hate most in fanfics is that it's too rushed and hasty and i think mine is too but i'm probably the worst judge of my own writing. pls tell me if it's too rushed, and i'll try to slow stuff down! at this point this chapter is just a mess of nonsense and i'll try writing jihoon's perspective next chapter? i think this fic is probably not gonna be a long fic bcos i don't have enough patience HAHAH but maybe a couple chapters long? like a several-shot (is that what u call it)
> 
> thank you guys sosososomuch for ur kudos and comments!! they made me smile so hard when i woke up bcos i never expected it :D esp the comments, thank you!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon's roommates are possibly (worse?) than Soonyoung.

group chat with memesol301295, Woozi, b00diva, $wagcoup$, jeoncenA

memesol301295: yo wooz wus gud my man

Woozi: Definitely not your spelling.

memesol301295: welp das rude owell i was gunna pick ur crusty ass up from de station but i think u ain’t need my help anmore

Woozi: …It’s alright, Hansol, I can just walk back with a heavy-ass backpack and my guitar and the load of takeout food I just bought you ungrateful asses.

b00diva: ME ME ME ME I WANT TAKEOUT FOOD I’LL COME BY ON MY VEHICLE TO PICK YOU UP

Woozi: Seungkwan you literally own a flower bicycle from your mom.

$wagcoup$: aww Seungkwan still using his momma’s bike

b00diva: forget it i’m not picking you up u dog

memesol301295: m8 its aight i on my way

jeoncenA: bro can u stop typing like that it’s fucking annoying either that or shut up pls

memesol301295: OMAIGAWD JEONWOO WONWOO UR AINT SPOSED TO SAY SHUT UP U UNCULTURED SWINE

(Woozi left the group chat.)

($wagcoup$ added Woozi to the group chat)

$wagcoup$: REMEMBER TO BRING THE TAKEOUT FOOD BACK OR I’M KICKING YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE

($wagcoup$ removed Woozi from the group chat.)

Jihoon huffed and pocketed his phone. If the dean had allowed changing of housemates, he would’ve done so months ago. Instead, the campus strictly didn’t allow changing of housemates so as to ensure “harmony on campus” and to promote “a diversity of friends in your social circle”.

As a result, he was stuck with these 4 idiots for the rest of his 4 years in university. Seungcheol always borrowed his charger without asking, Wonwoo always left his eyeliner and gel lying around the house (and Woozi had tripped over the seemingly innocent makeup sets seventeen times, he counted), Hansol never flushed the toilet or put down the lid after he used the toilet, and Seungkwan used his toothbrush and after that denied it.

But Wonwoo made pretty mean kimchi (he admitted that his boyfriend taught him how to do it and no one was particularly surprised that Wonwoo got himself a boyfriend who could cook because he was a lazy ass), Seungkwan and Hansol provided a daily dose of hilarious (Woozi would never admit he found “Boonon’s” gags funny) body gags and jokes so cringey that one couldn’t help laughing out of secondhand embarrassment. And Seungcheol…Woozi didn’t really know what he did. 

-

“Hey Wooz!” A pair of disgustingly sweaty hands covered his eyes.

“Jesus Christ, Hansol, I told you not to do that,” Jihoon shook Hansol off and climbed into the Toyota Prius.

“You got the food? Great!” Hansol enthused as he climbed into the driver’s seat and gunned the engine, shooting off the street.

“Did you know-” Jihoon started.

“No I didn’t.” Hansol grinned, seeming way too smug about a line that was overused.

“Shut up, did you know I met this guy with the most ridiculous broccoli hair on the train and he somehow had chewing gum in his hair? Is that a new fashion statement? And I fell asleep on his shoulder, and ew, I’m pretty sure some of the chewing gum got into my hair, but that’s not the point here, because Park fucking Chanyeol gave that guy his number! Who the hell would give a broccoli sprout their number?” Jihoon fumed. 

“AS IN PARK CHANYEOL, YOUR BIAS IN EXO?” Hansol shrieked. “You salty? A guy with worse hair than you got Chanyeol’s number? Boy, he sure does have bad taste. This is why Jeonwoo Wonwoo and I stick to Xiumin, at least he’s never had bad hair in his entire career!”

“Xiumin? You mean the one with puffy cheeks? God, you two have such bad taste. Obviously Chanyeol is better, he has a freaking dimple! And Xiumin has such little lines.” Jihoon rebutted.

“At least Xiumin doesn’t have the hots for Baekhyun, that ugly little snot!”

“Baekhyun is my star, how dare you-”

“I think his chocolate abs melted during summer, I mean he didn’t even flash them at all in Scarlet Heart.”

“You bitch! Abs aren’t all what idols-”

“SHIT!” Hansol swore, twisting the wheel in a full rotation to narrowly avoid the tree, and the wheel went over the curb.

The takeout food, which had been previously hanging from a hook, detached itself (how?) and went flying out of the window, landing with a gross splat on the pavement below.

“OH MY GOD, SEUNGCHEOL IS GOING TO KICK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE!” Jihoon panicked, hands reaching for the door handle to go out.

“Sit your ass down, boy, you ain’t going anywhere while the car is moving,” Hansol locked the car door and pressed down on the accelerator. “And don’t say oh my god!” He added.

“You just want me to get kicked out of my room so you can get the room all to yourself, you selfish prick! This is why you will never meet your bias on a subway!” Jihoon sank down in his seat, wondering how to convince Seungcheol that it was Hansol’s fault before deciding it was a lost case—he liked Hansol way too much.

“One day, while you’re working your ass off writing some song that the public will never hear, I’ll be training in SM and I’ll meet Xiumin and marry him and Chanyeol Xiumin and I will be in a threesome together and you’ll regret ever disrespecting your dongsaeng!”

“Exactly, I’m your hyung, you should respect me!” 

“Did I hear someone say Xiumin? Luhan is the best!” Jihoon hadn’t realized they had arrived in their apartment’s carpark and Seungcheol had stuck his head in. Hansol rolled up the window, almost killing Seungcheol.

“Ow, what the fuck Hansol?” Seungcheol sulked, rubbing his neck.

“You fake fan! Luhan isn’t even in Exo anymore! You are irrelevant! Uneeded! Get out, you deserved that!” Hansol snapped defensively.

Ignoring him, Seungcheol turned to Jihoon with an expectant glare in his eyes. “Where’s the takeout? We’re all starving.”

“Oh, about that, Hansol actually-” Jihoon scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“JIHOON THREW IT OUT OF THE WINDOW!” Hansol added.

“It accidentally went out of the window because of your awful driving!” Jihoon started.

“Excuse me? You disrespected Xiumin!” Hansol turned to Seungcheol (who had completely forgotten about Hansol rolling the window on his neck) with pleading eyes. “It’s all his fault!”

 

An hour later, Jihoon sat slumped outside the apartment, gloomily listening to Seungkwan scream about how the pizza they ordered didn’t come with cheese flakes.

-

“Hey, aren’t you the gnome—I mean boy who fell asleep on me? Why are you falling asleep on the wall now, wasn’t I good enough for you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so i managed to write another short chap (about 1k) bcos i have school tmr T-T but i feel that this was kinda badly written? cause i was also doing geog hw at the same time! pls do tell me if its too rushed/if u have any criticism :) once again, thank u for kudos&comment it legit makes my day :))
> 
> (also i apologise for any errors :D)
> 
> I HEART U


	4. seokmyasskunpimookbhuwanoob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hoshit: GUYS WHAT DO I DO IM BASICALLY BALD
> 
> mingew: cut the rest off

“You? What’re you doing here?” Jihoon asked incredulously. “Are you stalking me?”

“I should be the one asking that question! After all, I wasn’t the one who fell asleep on a stranger’s shoulder on a crowded subway,” Soonyoung was about to turn and leave, but Jihoon called him to a stop.

“Hey, but really, why are you here?” Curiosity got the better of Jihoon as he fidgeted with his fingers.

“My friends live here,” Soonyoung gestured vaguely around.

“Your friends? Who would make friends with a guy who willingly sticks neon yellow chewing gum in their hair?” Jihoon snorted. Moving on quickly so the guy wouldn’t be able to retort, “Who are your friends?”

“Why’d you want to know? Why are you here, anyway?” Soonyoung regarded Jihoon suspiciously. (Ironic, really, since most of the time Soonyoung was the nosy one.)

“I live here!” Jihoon said incredulously. “And I’ve never seen you around before!”

“Well, that’s because I don’t live here!” Soonyoung huffed impatiently.

“Talking to you is such a waste of energy, goodbye.” Jihoon, forgetting all about his curiosity, turned away from the guy whose name he didn’t even know. (Nor cared to find out.)

“My name is Soonyoung, call me Soon!” Soonyoung was way too excited to say that line, Jihoon decided.

“Jihoon.”

“My friends Bambam, Jungkook and Mingyu live here!” Soonyoung shouted over his shoulder as a second thought just before he took the lift down.

“Do something about that chunk of gum in your hair, it’s really annoying to look at!” Jihoon hollered after him.

Feeling the lump of gum stuck in his hair, Soonyoung sighed. Was it really that obvious?

 

group chat with: hoshit, bhuwaCOOL, mingay, jeonkook, Junnie( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), seokmydick, the1, chantheman

jeonkook: kwon soonyoung stop touching ur hair the gum is gross

bhuwaCOOL: YA HOESH STOP TUCCHNG UR UGLEE HAIR har har har geddit uglee like

bhuwaCOOL: UGLEE LIKE 

bhuwaCOOL: DRUMROOL PLS

the1: uglee like lee chan

chantheman: boi

hoshit: GUYS WHOS THE DUDE LIVING NEXT 2 U HU HAS RELLY WIERD STRABERRY HAIR AND RELLY SHORT LIK 130CM

mingay: yeah his name is Jihoon

mingay: WAIT WHO CHANGED MY USER 

mingay: WTF JEON JUNGKOOK 

mingay: HOW DO I CHANGE IT BACK

jeonkook: idk man figure it out urself

jeonkook: also ur username is true

chantheman: lmao mingyu u dumb hoe !!11!!!!!11

the1: stop!!trying!!to!!be!!a!!cool!!kid!! lee chan

Junnie( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ya exactly diNO (^_-)-☆

hoshit: (/◕ヮ◕)/

Junnie( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): （⌒▽⌒）

hoshit: (^_^メ)

Junnie( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ━━━(゜∀゜)━━━!!!!! 

hoshit: (*°∀°)=3

mingay: that looks like a dick

jeonkook: ya you would know since u succ the next door wonwoo’s one everyday right minGAY

hoshit: GUYS THIS IS A SRS ISSU HOW DO I REMVOE THE CHEWING GUM IN MY HAIR

seokmyass: CUT IT OFF

hoshit: BUT THEN ITLL TAKE SO LONG TO GROW BACK

seokmyass: WEAR A CAP

hoshit: I DNT HAVE ANY

seokmyass: TOO BAD

(mingay changed his display name to mingew)

jeonkook: gyu you know that’s worse than mingay right

mingew: guys what do u call a shitty jungkook

jeonkook: …

mingew: jungpoop

chantheman: lame bro

the1: chan pls stop trying to be cool

bhuwaCOOL: unless ur ME then u CANT BE bhuwaCOOL

hoshit: bye my ride is here

Junnie( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): u douche i aint ur ride

the1: hyung pls drive I need to go home

-

Taking a deep breath, Soonyoung raised the scissors to his hair. I’ll only cut that section off, he told himself.

Hands trembling, he hovered over the clump of hair and opened the scissors.

“HYUNG I—” Minghao burst in, smiling widely.

Startled, Soonyoung closed the scissors on the wrong section of his hair and in a second, half of his hair was now lying on the toilet tiles. “XU MINGHAO, YOU LITTLE TINY FUCKER DO YOU NOT READ THE TOILET SIGN? IT CLEARLY SAYS ‘DON’T ENTER, GENIUS AT WORK’ WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?”

“It was you? I thought it was Junnie-hyung again, trying to be a mad scientist and mixing bleach and baking soda and gunpowder or something,” Minghao blurted out. “I’m sorry, but then again I’m not sorry cause at least the green part of your hair is chopped off!” And that little brat ran off, probably to go laugh to Junhui about his new hair.

Soonyoung stared wordlessly at the green hair littered in clumps on the bathroom floor, back to the pair of scissors in his hands, then back at the pile of green hair again.

-

group chat with hoshit, bhuwaCOOL, mingew, jeonkook, Junnie( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), seokmydick, the1, chantheman

the1: Soonyoung cut off the chewing gum in his hair.

seokmydick: FINALLY

Junnie( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): i thought he was never going to do it??

the1: BUT THAT DUMBASS CUT OFF TOO MUCH OF HIS HAIR NOW HE’S PRACTICALLY BALD

chantheman: bitch no need to shout calm down,,,

the1: chan stop with your ,,,, it doesn’t make you cool

hoshit: (sent a pic) GUYS WHAT DO I DO IM BASICALLY BALD

mingew: cut the rest off

jeonkook: ^

seokmydick: ^^

the1: ^^^

chantheman: ^^^^

Junnie( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): ^^^^^

bhuwaCOOL: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

hoshit: …

hoshit: no

hoshit: people gnna think i have cancer or sth

bhuwaCOOL: rude did you know my grandma died from cancer

seokmydick: she died before you were born you don’t even know her

bhuwaCOOL: i hope you die soon

seokmydick: KUNPIMOOK BHUWANOOB THAT’S RUDE I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS WE EVEN DABBED TOGETHER

bhuwaCOOL: we weren’t friends the moment you changed your username to that

(seokmydick changed his display name to SEOKMYASSKUNPIMOOKBHUWANOOB)

(chantheman left the group chat.)

-

The next day, Soonyoung went to school with a beanie over his head and a hat over the beanie and then a hairband on top to secure it all on.

Trying to blend in with his table, he smashed his head into the desk, hastily fixing the hairband which almost fell off.

“Soonyoung…you okay?” Mingyu asked from above him. 

“No, go away,” He groaned, keeping a hand protectively on his hairband so Mingyu wouldn’t pull his beanie and hat and hairband off.

“I think he’s not okay.” Mingyu whispered to the person beside him.

“You think?” It was Wonwoo, Mingyu’s boyfriend who kept on denying that they were banging.

“You guys, he’s right here.” Junhui slammed a hand on his desk. “Take those monstrosities off you fool, no one cares about your hair.” Minghao added.

Clamping a hand over his ears, he groaned. Why were they in the same class as him? He was pretty sure Junhui hadn’t even passed math last year, why was he taking Business as well?

He heard the scraping of chairs around him and he assumed that the four of them had sat down. “Xu Minghao, go away. It’s all your fault.” Soonyoung looked up to glare at him, while all the time keeping his hand on his hairband.

He ignored Soonyoung and turned to Junhui. “Did you know I went over to Mingyu, Jungkook and Bambam’s apartment to pick Mingyu up for school but all I heard was moaning?” 

“It wasn’t me and Mingyu,” Wonwoo quickly interjected.

“No one said it was you.” Junhui rolled his eyes. “But you wish it was.”

“You know, I saw Bambam watching this super kinky hentai porn on his laptop and I swear I also saw Joshua sitting next to him? Like I knew Joshua was a weeaboo but isn’t he supposed to be damn holy?” Mingyu told all of them.

“What is this I hear about Joshua?” Jeonghan sat down next to Minghao, propping his head on his hand.

“WOAH, you cut your hair, now you and Soonyoung can be the friends who bonded over terrible hair!” Minghao exclaimed. Soonyoung honestly was very surprised that Jeonghan cut his hair, because “I keep long hair so Joshua will brush and blow it for me every morning and I love to feel his hands in my hair”.

He shrugged. “Joshua and I found another activity to do.”

“EW I don’t really want to know? Anyway, Mingay says he found Joshua and Bambam watching hentai together?” Minghao said.

He shrugged again.

“Aren’t you jealous that your boyfriend has a porn buddy?” Wonwoo asked.

“Not really, Bambam is ugly. Plus I already know about him watching those kind of stuff, I found a box of fishy dvds under the bed.” For someone who was talking about his boyfriend’s sexual activities, Jeonghan sure was chill.

“But isn’t Joshua supposed to be the holy goody-two-shoes church oppa?” Soonyoung raised his head from the table to ask.

“You’d be surprised.” A new voice came from in front of him, and he turned around to look at where it came from, but there was no one in the seat in front.

Soonyoung shrank back, suddenly scared. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned back around to cling onto Minghao’s arm, and whimpered very extremely softly. “Hao, is there a ghost in the seat in front of me? Please please tell me there isn’t.”

Suddenly, Wonwoo started laughing extremely loudly. “Jihoon, he said you were a ghost! Soonyoung, this is my dormmate Jihoon, he’s not just a ghost, he’s a 165cm ghost.”

Jihoon?

Letting go slowly of Minghao’s arm and ignoring his whines about Soonyoung being a coward, he faced the front to see…nothing?

“I’m right here, you fucking dickass!” An extremely furious voice almost shouted, and the entire class turned to look at him. (Thank god the professor wasn’t here yet.)

Slowly, he looked down. 

Oh.

It was the boy from the subway, and he currently had murder in his eyes. “Stop pretending to not fucking see me, you giant dipshit! I’m not even short, where are your eyes? Are they too small or something to see me?” Jihoon shoved his chair back into Soonyoung’s table, causing the table to almost tip over.

“I’m…sorry?”

“You’d better be, you giant fucking small-eyed piece of worthless trash!” Jihoon seethed.

“Did I mention that Jihoon is also extremely sensitive about his height?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hihi i hope this chapter improved a lil bit? :D 
> 
> thanks for kudos and comments OMG 34?? HOW wohasgfawergkhbjkdf i'm such a noob in writing hOW 34 isn't a lot to better+popular writers buT IT MEANS THE WORLD 2 ME YEHET 
> 
> i'm so trash for astro i don't know anymore


	5. what is a date can you eat it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soonyoung thinks he has the right to at least keep his nudes private, but apparently not.

“All sophomores report to the gymnasium now—” A deafening crackling sound came from the speakers and all the students winced. “Ah, sorry, dropped the mic.”

“Soonyoung, hurry up.” The principal said in the background.

“Ah, sorry, I mean, all sophomores report to the gymnasium now!” There was a pause, followed by, “and Lee Chan, please return me my umbrella, it’s been gone for 2 weeks now.”

Somewhere far away in the school, Chan shook his head and sighed at Soonyoung.

-

“Students! Welcome! The reason why I called all of you to the auditorium today is to announce with great joy that we will be holding an end-of year Winter Prom!” 

“Oh my god, a prom!” Seungkwan whispered excitedly from beside Jihoon. “Shut up, Seungkwan.” He replied.

“What?” Wonwoo yawned.

“On the 1st of November, there will be a Winter Prom at Ritz Carlton Ballroom, from 7pm till midnight. This is compulsory. I repeat, this is compulsory.”

“Yes!” Seungkwan stared not-so-discreetly at Seokmin, and Jihoon looked at Seokmin just in time to see him making heart eyes back at Seungkwan.

“I think I just puked a little in my mouth,” Wonwoo mumbled. “Same.” Jihoon mumbled back. “Hi guys!” Seungcheol sat his fat ass down in the seat next to him. Wait, Seungcheol?

“What you doing here?” Jihoon hissed at him. “This is not for old seniors like you!”

“I came because I wanted Seungkwan to invite me to the prom, is that so wrong?”

Jihoon wordlessly gestured to Seungkwan and Seokmin who were still making heart eyes at each other– oh, they had progressed on to mouthing words at each other.

Seungcheol pouted. “Does that mean I have no chance?” 

“Pretty much, yeah. You came late to the party.”

“Well then, can you take me?” He batted his eyes.

“I think I just puked a little in my mouth,” Jihoon whispered to Wonwoo. “Same,” Wonwoo sighed.

\--

“Thank god they didn’t give us dancing lessons, oh god.” Jihoon exhaled as they exited the gymnasium.

“Stop watching kdramas, Jihoon, they only do those in dramas…or fanfictions. Have you been reading fanfictions?” Seungkwan narrowed his eyes at him.

“He has!” Seungcheol jumped in. “I saw the open tab on his laptop when he went to the kitchen! It was a Kyungsoo and Kai fanfic.”

“What the heck, why were you looking at my laptop? You watch out, I’m going to tell Seungkw-”

“Shut the fuck up you nosy bastard, he’s right there!” Seungcheol pointed at Seungkwan who was now walking beside Seokmin hand-in-hand, the literal embodiment of head-over-heels.

“I mean, if I did tell him about the stash of pictures you have of him, you would get a higher chance of getting laid than if you just stay in your moldy closet.”

“Oh my god, Jihoon.” Wonwoo groaned.

\--

“So, how about it, Soonyoung?” Junhui nudged him.

“What about what?” Soonyoung replied.

“Your date to the Winter Prom, idiot.” Minghao flicked his ear.

“Huh? Oh, I’m not going. You two can go alone and cuddle up against a wall or have a threesome with some other loner.”

“Aww man, you can’t do that.” Mingyu groaned.

“Yeah, you’re the only one here who doesn’t have a Chosen One.” Jungkook extra-ed.

“What about Dino?” Soonyoung asked.

“He isn’t counted, he’s like 5.” Junhui rolled his eyes.

“Well that five year old gave me a massive bruise yesterday.” Soonyoung grumbled under his breath.

“Remember the time you came out of the toilet only wearing Totoro boxers? I still have that picture, are you sure you want me to spread it-”

“Alright, jeez! I’ll get Jeonghan to hook me up with someone, maybe Yuju or Yerin.” Soonyoung sighed internally. He didn’t want to go for some irrelevant dance with some irrelevant person doing some irrelevant stuff when he could’ve been at home sleeping or something.

\--

“Hey Soonyoung! Jeonghan told me you were looking for a date!” Yuju came up to him, backpack slung casually off one shoulder.

“Yeah, about that, can you-”

“But I’m so sorry, I’m already going with someone.” Yuju continued, as if he hadn’t even spoken. 

“Oh, that’s alrig-” Soonyoung, looking at the distraught expression on her face, was about to reassure her it was alright, when Cha Eunwoo, one class below him, came up behind Yuju, with a smile to bright it could literally kill Soonyoung, and slung an arm around her. 

Yuju turned sideways to hook her arm around his waist. “Yeah, sorry Soonyoung.” Yuju finished. Eunwoo mussed her hair, bending down to whisper into her ear and they burst out into those kind of couple laughter that only two people in love could pull off and walked away with her in tow, still smiling.

Yuju definitely was not disappointed that Soonyoung wasn’t her date for Prom.

Soonyoung couldn’t even get angry with Yuju. Heck, he would rather bring Eunwoo to the dance over any girl.

\--

Sitting down on the stone bench outside the cafeteria beside Bambam, he sighed. “I don’t even want to go to the Prom, but Mingyu, Jungkook, Junhui and Minghao are threatening to leak my nudes if I didn’t go 7-wheel with them.”

“Jungkook? Woah, for once that useless boyfriend is doing something productive.” Bambam said unsymphathetically.

“What the fuck man, you’re supposed to be on my side.” Soonyoung whined pathetically.

“Dicks over chicks, sorry bro.”

“Are you calling me a chick? You insolent-”

“Hey Soonyoung!” He looked up to see Jung Yerin standing beside him.

Soonyoung almost cried out loud in relief. He was finally going to get a date and his private nudes would stay as private.

“Jeonghan told me you were looking for a date!”

Please, Soonyoung prayed.

“I’m so sorry, but I’m already going with someone!” Yerin frowned sympathetically.

Oh.

“Can I ask…who are you going with?” Bambam spoke up from the bench.

“Hwang Eunbi from my class, she’s so pretty and nice, oh god.” Yerin seemed to be fangirling internally, fanning her red face.

“Oh, good for you. Have fun!” Soonyoung said dispiritedly.

\--

“Hyuuung, I’m never going to get a date!” Soonyoung whined, face buried in Jisoo’s sweatshirt.

Jisoo rubbed Soonyoung’s back comfortingly, mumbling, “You’ll get one, just be patient!” 

“I don’t even want to go to the prom, but my nudes!” Soonyoung wailed.

Jisoo couldn’t stop himself from laughing, shaking his head at Soonyoung’s situation. “Hey, I know someone else who doesn’t have a date…you want me to ask?” 

“Yes please! Oh my god, thank you so much, hyung!” Soonyoung clutched onto Jisoo even tighter (if that was even possible), once again crying in relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO U GET IT "what is a date can u eat it" GEDDIT AHHAHA DATE AS IN COUPLE AND DATE AS IN FRUIT
> 
> that was bad sorry my friend once told me if u had to explain a joke meant that it was a bad joke but i mean why not
> 
> thankusomuchforthekudos!! <3<3


	6. DanceTriangle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the prom!!! yay!!!

“Hyung, did you get my date?” Soonyoung looked at Jisoo imploringly, widening his eyes as wide as they could go. 

“Yeah, you’ll meet your date at the dance.” Jisoo laughed. 

“Ooh, do I know her?” Soonyoung asked.

“Yeah, sure you do.”

“Who is it?”

“I’m not telling! I didn’t tell your date who you were and I’m not telling who your date is.”

“Jisoo, please?” Soonyoung begged, pouting cutely.

Jisoo cringed. Soonyoung’s aegyo was horrific, but of course he wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that. Let Jeonghan or someone else do it and receive Soonyoung’s wrath. “You’ll be pleasantly surprised!” Pleasantly surprised, alright. More like horrifically shocked.

“Thank you so much, my favourite hyung!” Soonyoung hugged Jisoo, tightly holding his hand. Soonyoung was such a hugger, but Jisoo didn’t mind at all.

\--

“Jihoonie! We got a date for you!” Wonwoo and Mingyu ran over to him, Mingyu tripping over in his haste to get to him before Wonwoo.

“I told you, I’m not going!” Jihoon muttered, scooping up his books and slamming his locker door shut.

“It’s almost our last year here, don’t be such a buzzkill!” Mingyu hyped.

“Yeah, by almost the last year do you mean our first year and also second last year of high school? Also, I’m gay.” Jihoon rolled his eyes and was about to walk off.

“Yeah we know but we got you a really hot man date,” Wonwoo stood in front of him.

“Wait…he’s gay?” Mingyu gasped from behind Jihoon.

“Mingyu, he came out last year, stop being so last year.” Wonwoo hissed.

“Yeah. But even if you got me Do Kyungsoo as my date, I still wouldn’t go.” Jihoon emphasized.

“Well how about this—just think about it, we’ll even get you a suit and all and if you feel like it just turn up!” Mingyu encouraged.

“Sure.” Jihoon entered the lecture theatre and slammed the door shut behind him. 

“You idiot, guilt-tripping won’t work on him!” Wonwoo whispered very loudly behind the closed door. Did they think these walls were soundproof?

\--

“Pictures, pictures!” Jihoon’s mom pulled a huge camera out of her tiny purse, waving it frantically around. 

“Mom, he’s not even my date.” Jihoon groaned as she pushed Mingyu and him together to take a picture.

“I know dear, but can’t a mother have a moment? It’s the first time I’m seeing my baby dress up to go for the prom! With some handsome guy, no doubt!” His mom squealed as she took at least a billion photos, the flash blinding him.

Mingyu laughed, resting his elbow on Jihoon’s head. Goddamn that unnaturally tall giant. 

But then again, without him he would be at home with his mom asking why he didn’t go for the prom. He should really be grateful for having a mom this concerned and involved in her son’s dating life, but the thing was that he didn’t have any.

“Alright, we’ll have to go now, Ms Lee! Our dates are waiting for us but I’ll definitely be sure to tell you all about Jihoon’s night if he himself doesn’t!” Mingyu hugged her with one arm and she beamed. 

“What an angel you are, Mingyu! I don’t know what our Jihoon would do without you.”

“I swear my own mother loves you more than me,” Jihoon grumbled under his breath as they got into Mingyu’s shiny new Rover. (his dad bought it for him, what even?)

“Yeah! We’re going to pick up Wonwoo first then your mystery date!” Mingyu took both hands off the wheel as he changed stations and sneezed into one hand.

“My god, Mingyu, please put both hands on the wheel!” Jihoon wiped off Mingyu’s snot from his arm. 

“Sorry!”

\--

“Can you tell me about my date?” Jihoon asked Wonwoo as they drove towards the school. Apparently his date lived quite close to the school—don’t only nerds do that?

“No.” 

“Mingyu, can you tell me about him?” Jihoon attempted to be friendly while sweating inside his semiformal suit.

“No.”

“Please.”

“Well, just a bit, alright? Okay, he has this really weird hair, it’s kind of blonde but with green highlights but recently he shaved off half of his head cause apparently he tried to cut out chewing gum but of his hair ended up cutting a large portion of his hair as well and he—” Mingyu was interrupted by Wonwoo forcefully shoving a hand over his mouth. 

“Shut up! It’s a surprise.” Wonwoo hissed.

“Oh yeah, surprise! I guess you’ll find out about now anyway,” Mingyu snorted as the car door opened.

“Hi guys! I—” A familiar annoying voice screeched but abruptly stopped as the dude saw Jihoon in the car.

“Strawberry gnome?”

“Broccoli head?”

\--

“Go away, stop following me around.” Jihoon grumbled as he walked to the food table (it had everything you could imagine, the only reason he came).

“But we’re dates! Don’t dates follow each other around?” Soonyoung pouted.

“I didn’t know you were my date, if I had I wouldn’t have come.” Jihoon mumbled under his breath.

“What you say?” He was half deaf, it seemed.

“Nothing, I said I agreed with you.” Jihoon grabbed a solo cup and filled it to the brim with punch.

“Yeah! Hey, wait up!” Soonyoung scrambled after Jihoon as he attempted to slip away from Soonyoung.

Swinging his head back, Jihoon downed almost the entire cup, wincing as the liquor burned his throat. “Someone put an assload of liquor into this punch.” He muttered, partly glad.

“Can I have some?” Soonyoung looked at the cup.

“Have you even had a sip of alcohol in your life?” Jihoon asked doubtfully.

“Nope!” Soonyoung chirped. “So can I have it now?”

“Well, your alcohol virginity will hopefully be the only virginity of yours I’ll be taking tonight. Sure, go ahead.” Jihoon shoved the cup at him.

Soonyoung drank the last drops of the alcohol and immediately dropped the cup, eyes widening almost comically.

“I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS ALIVE!” He screamed.

“God, is this the effects of someone being deprived of alcohol his entire life?” Jihoon was about to walk away again when Soonyoung grabbed his arm.

“Don’t go!” Soonyoung bubbled. “Stay with me, your hair doesn’t look that ugly tonight.”

“Wow, thanks.” Jihoon shook Soonyoung off roughly. 

“You know, I’m still quite salty that you got Chanyeol’s signature on the train. I’ve liked SHINee since they debuted but I’ve never met them in person.” Soonyoung complained quite loudly, attracting a few curious gazes.

“Shush, you’re being too loud, people are looking at you. If you want to meet them so bad, why don’t you just become an idol? Jeez.” 

“Hey, that’s a good idea! Do you think we could become a duo? I dance and you can play the triangle and together we can be DanceTriangle!” Soonyoung babbled.

“Sure.” Jihoon deadpanned.

“Wow, you’re actually quite nice! I like you more now. Did you know I can dance? I learnt all the choreographies to SHINee’s songs just in case I meet Onew one day! Wanna see?” Soonyoung started dancing before Jihoon even had the chance to respond.

“No—wait, you’re actually not that bad…” Jihoon stared in awe as Soonyoung executed the sharp moves probably as well as the original dancers did.

“I KNOW RIGHT! So let’s go form a duo!” Soonyoung spun around happily and ended up landing in a pile on the floor.

Jihoon sat beside him. “Where’d you learn dance? Not that I’m impressed, just curious.” 

“My hyungie Jun taught me and Haohao and Channie, so we’re going to form a circus group and perform as acrobats in a moving circus!” Soonyoung giggled. How did he even get so drunk of a quarter of a cup of alcohol? Admittedly, a very strong dose of alcohol but still this boy has seriously low alcohol tolerance.

“That’s nice.” Jihoon said. “Can you sing?”

“Nah, not really. I suck. Can you?”

“A bit, my mom is a piano teacher so she taught me piano and I kind of picked up composing and singing.” 

“WOAH, SO COOL! Can you teach me?” Soonyoung’s eyes rounded.

“If you teach me how to dance…?” Jihoon trailed off. He hated to admit it, but he seriously sucked at dancing.

“OF COURSE, HOW ELSE THEN CAN WE BE THE DANCETRIANGLE DUO?” Soonyoung screamed excitedly.

“Sure, we can be the DanceTriangle.” Jihoon couldn’t stop a small smile from appearing on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys this chapter is 1.4k words as usual i wrote it at 2.07am my favourite time of the day
> 
> should this have an epilogue or not? i'm not sure should i just leave it like this or write an epilogue i'm inclined to write one but not sure if it'll be too draggy


End file.
